High Temperatures and Humidity Lead To ‘Swamp Butt’ Epidemic in Michigan
We've been going through a very hot and humid stretch in Michigan so far this summer, which can lead to a 'swamp butt' outbreak.
I'm sure you think this has to be some kind of joke, but it's very serious. I don't have any science to back up the claims below, but if we've learned anything over the last year it's that half of us don't listen to science anyway. Science or no science, anyone that has lived through a hot and humid Michigan summer knows exactly what swamp butt is, and the dangers it can pose.
I should put it out there that I am using the PG-13 version of the term, so you can assume swamp butt and swamp a$$ are the same thing.
What exactly is Swamp Butt?
Dictionary.com defines swamp butt pretty straight forward,
a sweaty wetness in the butt crack or general nether region that may soak through the underwear, even the pants. Chafing and funky odors are also common symptoms
There really is no better, and more disgusting way to describe exactly what swamp butt is.
Who can get swamp butt?
EVERYONE! Literally nobody is safe from the terror that is swamp butt.
There are plenty of products online claiming to prevent swamp butt if you would like to try them. I personally don't think any of them will work because I think that putting something down there to prevent the inevitable seems like it would only make the problem worse.
Why swamp butt though?!
Here is where my citizen science comes into play. I think that the reason swamp butt is such a big problem for most of us in Michigan is because we just aren't prepared for it. Our bodies are dealing with freezing temperatures for a majority of the year, so we are conditioning ourselves to stay warm.
When a heatwave hits the mid-west with a high amount of humidity, our bodies just kind of freak out a little bit. The problem gets worse if you are already a heavy sweater, but make no mistake, swamp butt poses a risk to everyone.
Can I stop swamp butt?
I wish I had better news for you, but unfortunately there is not much to do to prevent swamp butt. If you want to be outside during the hot humid weather, it's a risk you're going to have to take . . . along with a back up pair of undies and shorts.
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