We all love the 4th of July mainly because it gives us an excuse to grill and light things of fire and watch them explode into pretty colors. Sure, It's the day our forefathers decided they weren't gonna be pushed around anymore and wanted independence, but it's that sense of family and togetherness that makes this time of the year so much fun. But sometimes that fun comes at a cost when people don't follow basic common sense when handling fireworks. Luckily, good ole' Mark Frankhouse is here to walk ya through some safety tips. So let's start with the basics:


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Tip #1: DON'T BE AN IDIOT AND LIGHT THEM OFF IN YOUR HANDS:
On the other hand (which is the only hand you'll have after you do this) if you're dumb enough to think this is a good idea...carry on.

Tip #2: DON'T LAUNCH FIREWORKS OUT OF YOUR BUTT OR OFF YOUR FACE:
 I get it, "Steve-O from Jackass did it." True. But you're not Steve-O, just a jackass.

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TIP #3: DON'T GET DRUNK WITH YOUR FRAT BUDDIES AND TRY TO IMPRESS CHICKS BY DRUNKENLY PLAYING WITH EXPLOSIVES:
     Hey, I understand. You're at that point in your life where you think doing stupid things around girls will magically make them attracted to you. It won't. Unless she's into driving dudes to the hospital after having an appendage blown off. Then you're golden!

TIP #4: DON'T POINT FIREWORKS AT EACH OTHER:
 This is a basic rule, but seriously, some of you out there need a second reminder. It's not funny, cool, intelligent, or polite. If you're gonna point it at someone, do it to yourself. Then again...see Tip #1. I can't help you beyond that.

FINAL TIP: IF A FIREWORK DOESN'T IGNITE, LET IT BE:
     Sometimes you waste your money on a dud. It's okay. Throwing it in the fire or trying to relight it is a great way to catch a lawsuit/ emergency vehicle ride.


There ya go. I've pretty much done all the work for ya. Now go and have a fun, safe 4th of July!


 

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